Many products nowadays include in their labels warnings or disclaimers that are patently ridiculous. At the least, they underline the stupidity of the label editors and the lawyers who seek to avoid litigation of their corporate clientele.
Corporate America has taken the lead in this incomprehensible road to avoid paying their customers damages for use of their products. Understandably so, for it is in American courts where product users have been awarded humongous amounts for misusing products not properly labeled. Yet “proper labeling” was not necessary when a more discerning, and careful, variety of the human species was dominant in this planet.
Recent developments in human evolution has mayhaps necessitated these product warnings.
If one were interested in exploring this road of incredulity and confusion, there are many internet sites that provide many examples of absurd product labels and warnings. Indeed, one could spend days hilariously reading through all the drivel. In the end, however, we learn one thing– that there is no limit to human stupidity to avoid product liability.
In the Philippines, the most visible of these product warnings are the warnings on cigarette packs: Cigarettes are addictive; Smoking kills; Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health; etcetera, etcetera. It won’t be long before other products will be carrying product warnings that, if they do not emphasize the obvious, would enhance humanity’s heritage of absurdities.
A phenomenon similar to product labels is the use of disclaimers. A standard email disclaimer, for instance, would state, “This message contains confidential information and is intended only for the individual named. If you are not the named addressee you should not disseminate, distribute or copy this e-mail. Please notify the sender immediately by e-mail if you have received this e-mail by mistake and delete this e-mail from your system. If you are not the intended recipient you are notified that disclosing, copying, distributing or taking any action in reliance on the contents of this information is strictly prohibited.”
You would think that the information contained in the email is of world-endangering significance. However, the disclaimer is merely another effort of the corporate world to shield itself from litigation because of a missent email.
The purpose of disclaimers, after all, is to provide sufficient protection to the author or maker from claims for damages by readers, users or consumers. It is for this reason that I venture to provide my own disclaimer for Spirited Thoughts. Admittedly, I lifted some from the internet. So sue me.
This disclaimer covers all previous and future editions of Spirited Thoughts. Immediately upon publication, this disclaimer is presumed to have been read by the general public, including, but not limited to, future generations of literate humans, as well as literate members of other species, whether they be indigenous to Planet Earth or elsewhere. Readers are hereby warned that due to the length of this disclaimer, the print may progressively become smaller to the point of being unreadable. Nevertheless, whether the reader can actually peruse the entire disclaimer, it is presumed that he/she/it is fully informed of the same.
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